Intro:
In the society we live in, there are a large percentage of fairy tale motifs that have been internalized and embedded within society to the point where they cannot be extracted easily. Some of the more common ones are "The Damsel in Distress," "True Love's Kiss," "Prince Charming," "The Evil Stepmother," and "Happily Ever After." These motifs are seen time and time again, in older fairy tales as well as new adaptations, in movies and books, in songs and poetry; they have infiltrated society and have skewed the way we view the world.
Damsel in Distress:
"I knew from growing up with Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty that a boy was going to save the day and we would live happily ever after.
Only, that never happened." (35)
Society, the female half specifically, has taken to heart the sexist motif of the damsel in distress. This internalization stems from the repetition of the story plot that the prince will save the princess. Whether we have been internalizing this subconsciously or intentionally (Cinderella Ate My Daughter), there seems to be less action and more waiting around (37). This is because fairy tales teach women that "Prince Charming is on the way and you really don't need to do anything with your life but wait for him," which is extremely detrimental to women's self esteem (34). The concept being taught is that all women need to do to attract a man is "look pretty," while in order for a guy to attract a woman he must be rich, charming, and good looking (34). Despite the progress women have made since the early 20th century (gaining the right to vote, work the same jobs as men, and essentially being considered equal to men), by teaching girls from a very young age to just "wait for a prince to rescue you" counteracts all of that progress. The stereotyped damsel in distress is defined as "beautiful, innocent, hapless, and most often young and at the mercy of another person" (36). As girls fall into this stereotype, becoming more passive and no longer taking action, it's a problem because now guys are expected to make the first move as if they were "rescuing their princess." In today's society, men should be the one's to text the woman first, to ask the woman out, to propose, to be financially stable. By perpetuating this cycle, it teaches girls to look for "some Prince on a white horse" to rescue them (36). The opposite stereotype is that powerful and more cunning women are often depicted as the evil, vain, greedy, older women responsible for the emotional upset of the princess, sometimes even responsible for her role as the damsel (36). This shows out-of-proportion ideals for what's considered "good" and "bad" by depicting powerful women as wicked and helpless women as good (36). Obviously growing up, little girls wanted to be the beautiful but submissive princess as opposed to the powerful yet ugly evil queen, thus reinforcing the concept that women should be damsels in distress instead of strong, independent women (36). As a result, women have internalized the fairy tale motif of the damsel in distress, forever waiting for their prince to come save them.
True Love's Kiss:
True Love's Kiss: the most magical thing on earth, right?
Wrong.
The concept of true love's kiss is another motif perpetuated by fairy tales, and is probably the most ingrained motif within American society (32). And as mentioned in the Evolution of Fairy Tales, these tales didn't start with a chaste kiss, but instead involved lots of sex and violence (32). This is seen with the original versions of The Frog King (which is equivalent to Disney's Princess and the Frog), Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White (32). It was only after Disney sanitized them that the motif of true love's kiss developed. Because so many Disney movies have some version of true love's kiss (Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, The Princess and the Frog, Frozen, Enchanted, Maleficent), the idea that "finding your true love will cure 99.9% of magical maladies and curses, or your money back!" is also embedded within our social standards of what to expect out of a relationship (33). People buy into this idea that true love's kiss is this tangible thing that exists, and expect that when it happens fireworks will go off and it will be some magical thing. Not to sound cynical, but love isn't always like that, but because Disney portrays it that way, some people build up fantasies of what love should be like and are often let down when their expectations aren't met. Instead of portraying strong, independent women, Disney portrays them as hopeless romantics whom little girls idolize, ultimately causing these little girls to "hope that true love exists for everyone" (35). Disney shouldn't have been filling little girls' heads with false expectations about falling in love, having a true love's kiss, and living happily ever after, because those expectations become engrained in our brains through the repetitious watching of princess movies (35). There are never stories that show how love really is: messy, complicated, and often ending in heartbreak (35). Disney doesn't prepare children for what love is really like, and leaves you wishing for that "once upon a time" start and "happily ever after" ending as you grow up (35). Even though they are just stories, there's something to be said about the power of fairy tales and their abilities to influence our expectations of love, even on a subconscious level.
There's a rhetorical reason as to why people subconsciously believe all the lies about finding "true love's kiss." The purpose of Disney stories is often to teach some moral, life lesson, or abstract concept, such as love, in a way understandable to their target audience: children. Disney uses pathos, connotations, and symbols to achieve its purpose. There are many positive connotations associated with the words love, kiss, prince, princess, and the phrase "happily ever after." Disney is able to build off these connotations and tell a story that not only uses pathos to evoke emotional responses from the audience, but they are usually positive emotions. When the princess meets her prince for the first time and they fall in love, the positive connotation associated with "true love" makes viewers happy (Cinderella, Snow White, The Little Mermaid, etc...). As the love story develops, there are obstacles that stand in the way of the two lovers being together. The princess is often incapacitated, and pathos is once again used because we feel bad that she's been either cursed, trapped, poisoned, or whatever horrible fate that has befallen her. As the prince overcomes obstacles to save his princess, we get all excited and cheer for him to succeed, and montages such as these often play inspirational music behind them, invoking pathos. When he finally reaches her, whether she's locked in a tower or not, he saves her with "true love's kiss." This not only epitomizes the kiss itself, but leads to unrealistic love expectations. The positive connotations surrounding "true love" and "true love's kiss" rely on the belief that true love comes with a prince and a "happily ever after" because of that surge of joy felt when the prince finally saves his princess. As seen in the video below, Giselle from Enchanted is obsessed with the concept of true love's kiss, and she believes she will find her true love through true love's kiss, which is one of the major goals she hopes to achieve in the movie (39).
Conclusion:
While there are so many different fairy tale motifs embedded within society, the two major ones are the damsel in distress and true love's kiss. The problem isn't the motifs themselves, but what internalizing them symbolizes. By internalizing the motif of the damsel in distress, the moral of the story is that women are always helpless and need a man to save them. With this moral as the takeaway from fairy tales, little girls are going to continue internalizing this message as they grow up until more examples of strong independent women infiltrate social media and fill the pages of fairy tales, replacing the helpless damsels. The motif of true love's kiss leaves children with high expectations for love and relationships, overvaluing the "true love's kiss" and the disappointment of never living up to the Disney standard of love. Granted, some people do find their happily ever afters, but roughly 50% of marriages in America end in divorce as of 2013 (38). The moral of the story being that children have high expectations regarding love, and the likely hood of getting their own happily ever after is only about 50%. When fairy tale motifs are internalized, people suffer the consequences of not being able to measure up to the Disney standards, whether it means girls are far too passive, or children have unrealistic expectations about true love's kiss.
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